"If all of life is Spiritual, then you can just let living be your spirituality sometimes." Joy Vetterlein
The endless chase to proove our spiritual knowledge is exhausting & it exists everywhere. It's in churches, yoga studios, music fests, bookstores, social media, Netflix & more.
The type of rest being propagated is uncanny because it's still an attempt to impress God or the Universe or be top notch on the self-care regimen scene.
It's not natural & yet, we present it as if it is.
Trauma healing has become a social media challenge of some sorts. Rather than letting the trauma naturally heal itself, we push through what might not yet be ready to be opened. For example, I always felt a pressure to clear my "wounded", or rather sexually abused, sacral chakra so I could "breakthough" my money wound & finally get rich as a female entrepreneur.
This 'spiritual superhero' mentality can be so detrimental to our actual relationship to the spirit.
When I saw my rapist's name in an article in October, my first thought was, "Great. This is going to affect my sacral chakra, which is going to get in the way of my money wound, which is connected to my sexual energy and oh no, I'm in a new relationship..."
Throw being a spiritual teacher or influencer into the mix & you've got yourself one exhausting life. It's true that even if I was "resting" it was in an attempt to please: 'Today I'm resting by the water because water blah blah blah...something magical.'
I never felt truly at rest.
Let me give you another example that I experienced. Rest isn't rest if you're using it to market your trade.
I'm not saying don't post photos of you in that restful yoga pose to promote your class but what I am saying is don't let that be considered true rest.
The rest we are resting on isn't real rest; its a rest to impress. I used to do this a lot: I'd take a social media break & come back on to glorify my rest on social media & 'wow' people with my ability to "love myself."
If we want to throw Jesus into the mix, even he rested from his spiritual teaching & he didn't tell anyone about it; he just did it, naturally.
So, I decided to stop teaching spiritual concepts & even seeking them be it that I can truly rest.
This does not mean I've stopped questioning and it does not mean that I've lost connection to God. In fact, I feel more at peace and more connected to God than I ever have before. God is with me--even when I want to drink wine & play some silly board game instead of pray.
I'm going to be teaching aerial hammock again at a new studio that my beautiful friend is opening. Before the studio opened, I had to be brave and set a boundary. Who I was before my deconstruction is not who I am now. When I first met the owner, all I wanted to do was talk about spiritual this and spiritual that...
In my message, I basically said "I just want to teach movement. If that's not okay with you then I completely understand if you dont want me in your studio."
As in, I don't want to talk about which chakra you're working on or which pose is 'getting you closer to God.' It's not that I'm against others speaking about these notions or that I'll ignore a question in class but it simply isn't bringing me peace right now.
Luckily, the owner is a wonderful being who understood. On our live FB call to promote the studio, it felt different to not be the one talking about consciousness & energy...
But Lord, did it feel peaceful to be on the other end knowing that it's not up to me!
If there's anything that you take away from this story, let it be this: It's not all up to you.
Amazing breakthroughs start to happen when you're not forcing or demanding the process go faster by trying to know it all a d give it all. There's a significance to the natural process.
One of my favorite books in the Bible is Ecclesiates. When I read it, I was thinking, "Holy schmokes, did I just meet my cynicism twin!?"
Be well & live. Till next time!