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Letting The Old Story Go: Nothing Hidden Within

Writing has recently become my salvation.

Through consistent commitment to the morning pages, I release my ego and I let Wisdom lead the way.

By venting to the nothingness, I get over myself fairly quickly. Eventually, you get tired of hearing the same old story repeated to yourself and you begin to see that the thoughts of past versions of yourself are what is holding you back from who you are in this moment.

It is like this: You are not likely to hold onto the guilt of when you were two years old and threw spaghetti all over the freshly washed floor, right? It is in the past! Yet, as adults, we cling to the past so much that it is like we are two again–helpless and destructive. The morning pages allows us to let go of our past versions.

Embrace the timeless present without the burden of the past or future. - Rabbi Rami Sharpio

Here is a short list of some of the anxieties and fears that I have written about that have been naturally solved by simply stating that they exist.

🩷I wrote about my idea to start the Infrared Restorative class. I vented about how scared I was that I would invest in something that might not take off. My money fears almost stopped me. It is doing exceptionally well! I am beyond grateful.

💜I scribbled about my anxieties regarding the aerial arts youth showcase. I knew I could not do it alone but I had no idea how I was going to afford to pay people to help me. I learned how to ask for help. It is taking off better than expected & my team is amazing!

🩵I challenged my thought process and insecurities when it came to treating myself to an aerial photoshoot. I said yes to my discomfort! They turned out better than I thought and it was a fun process!

🩷I described my endless fears over whether or not Sean wanted to marry me or not. I vented about my own insecurities seeing that I had been previously married. Eventually, I got tired of hearing the version of myself in the past. Instead of wondering, I started talking more openly about marriage. I embraced the idea of marriage. I went through challenging thoughts and outer experiences that tried to shake me of my embrace but each time I went back to the morning pages, my thoughts shifted with the pages. I embraced the idea of me deserving a "sustaining note" for once in my life. Now I am writing about the joy of my engagement!

My God was always there, but now I have learned to talk to him. —ERIC CLAPTON

For me, the morning pages are like my prayers with God–not TO God, but WITH God. I am not asking for a handout but a hand-inward.

We think we have to "tidy up" our prayers and say them in a specific way in order to be heard for that is the way structures taught us to pray.

We believe that God only wants to hear from us if we have it "all figured out" already. Is our intention clear and bundled up? In my truth, sometimes my intention is all over the place and forcing myself to put a bow on it becomes insincere.

God is a helper. By experiencing life through my lens, God solves new problems with me. If I never came to God with my heavy baggage, I would be a liar.

God gives the truth to us as much as he wants the truth from us.

So what are the morning pages? They were established by Julia Cameron from the book," The Artists Way."

1.Grab a journal

2.Grab your tea or coffee & before you begin your day, sit down with that journal.

3. Free write three pages–no more & no less–about anything!

4. Be consistent (I think I have gone through 4 or 5 journals now).

5. Do not re-read the pages! Do not share them with anyone else! They are only for you. Very important part of the process.

You do not have to be a "writer" to do the morning pages. You do not even have to enjoy writing. This is not about grammar or sentence structure. There is no editor.

Some days your pages will sound fairly plain and simple, "I forgot to wash the laundry. I am going out to eat tonight, I think I will have the halibut. I really do not want to do the laundry."

Some days your pages will sound honest. "My boss is really driving me crazy. Can you believe that he said XYZ? You know who else is driving me crazy? My mother-in- law. She insists that…"

Eventually, your pages will sound a lot more like love and gratitude…

"You know, as much as I am annoyed with my boss, I am at least lucky that he never questions my ability to get the job done. While my mother-in-law is still driving me mad, I am grateful that my partner can laugh with me about it."

I did not think the morning pages were going to work in this way but they have proven otherwise. It really works for me which is why I encourage you to give it a try!

It is a beautiful act of surrender. To me, the most difficult part was thinking, "This is not productive. I should be doing something else! I should be solving the problems I already know exist, not writing them down in a diary like a child!"

Yet, if you look again at the list I created above, I believe the morning pages turned out to be pretty damn productive in my eyes!

You can see the morning pages as a book of your present life rather than a catalog of memories you dig up. You do not go back through the morning pages and re-read for that reason. The present moment is creating the future and all it takes is three pages of the honest truth every day to create a future that is grounded upon the realest of realities.

Thank you for reading!

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