2-22-22 rings with such a different feeling for me today.
When I was deeply obsessed with keeping up with New Age posts, I couldn't wait for this day. I had to make sure that I didn't miss creating my own post or resharing every spiritual influencer's post.
The truth is, I still believe it is significant but in less of a "panic to show I know" kind of way. It feels more peaceful, less rushed, and deeply rooted in a desire to be in companionship with God.
As a sidenote, the main difference I feel with my transition out of New Age ways is that I don't feel rushed.
It isn't necessarily that the information in New Age was all "wrong" but rather it was the deliverance and the gaining that led me to exhaustion, confusion, and separation from what God really wanted for me.
Keeping up with all the moons, all the numerology, the solar flares, the energy updates...it was exhausting and at times, it almost felt like a competition. I would hear & say this almost every day, "The energy is shifting like crazy right now, isn't it?"
Although that is true, NOW is like a flash of lightning but are we expected to live that way? Trauma happens in a second but healing it takes a lifetime.
I know now that God moves quickly so that He is always one step ahead of me and this act so lovingly gives me the opportunity to slow down and to process. Now is not in a rush, now is just in preparation.
With God and God alone, there's just one energy focus to keep up with & that is my relationship to God. I try to focus less and less on my relationship to the world these days for I know that I am "in it, but not of it."
It's funny, that saying, "In the world, not of it" was on an Oracle card that I used to pull all of the time in NA but I didn't fully understand it until I focused on God alone.
Which brings me to the point of this post: the significance of two.
Twos are usually opposites meant to pair together in companionship, such as day and night. But as people, it seems our pairs cannot seem to master the type of companionship where we do as we were made to do; nothing more and nothing less. The moon doesn't try to do what the sun does and vice versa.
Many interpret the Bible as "The wicked and the righteous do not pair together. They must be separated."
Proverbs 25:4-5
"Remove the dross from the silver,and a silversmith can produce a vessel;
Remove wicked officials from the king's presence,
And his throne will be established through righteousness."
Basically, when you separate the impurities from silver, it is able to be made into something tangible. This proverb can be interpreted as removing the "bad" influences from the king's community so that he can hear God and God alone.
I quoted "bad" with influences because as I see it now, it isn't necessarily the person who is creating the bad but rather they are consumed by a worldly desire to fit in, to impress, to feel powerful with knowledge and so on that they do not even notice that they are so consumed by an artificial sense of belonging.
Ever have noise canceling headphones on so that you can be consumed with just one song or one focus? Sometimes I feel like God is looking down on us and all He sees is headphones but no one is tuning into the God station.
But maybe it's because the God station sounds more like a hypnotic trance of man-made religions and belief structures? I don't know but perhaps...this is why Jesus came to flip tables over in religious institutions and why he spoke so highly about relationship building over building your religion?
The "two" that we often hear about within the context of what it means to be in relationship are giving and receiving.
Again, many use the example of the sun and the moon to explain; both have their own function and one is not trying to do the job of the other. But do we ever really function that way as humans? Complimentary?
This morning God brought to my attention that within two there are also two more. With that being said, there's no doubt that God sent us two not just as a reminder of separation but also as an advantage to union. Let me explain that thought.
Let's focus on the "two" within receiving. I'm going to separate the receiver into two parts.
There's a receiver who takes to have and there's a receiver who accepts to be filled. To take to have is different than to accept to be filled but both are an act of receiving.
I'm not going you touch on giving though it has two parts as well. For some reason, God is putting receiving on my heart today.
Taking drains us.
Being filled redeems us.
Taking is what I feel is happening in our spiritual and religious institutions. People are taking a relationship with God through denominations or choice of what to call God but not accepting the notion of being filled with God's love.
Our cups desire to be filled with knowledge so that we reign power and control in this world rather than desiring our cups to be filled with trust, faith and a humbleness [God's love].
I was that girl that wanted to take to have rather than accept to be filled.
Do you want to know the honest truth of why?
Because sometimes accepting to be filled means that I don't know and if I don't know, what can I give to others that is of value???
When I was a NA teacher, people were coming to me for answers. I was always honest with them if I did not know but there was a pressure on my heart to know. I would look for the next game-changing spiritual influencer to tap into so I could gain more knowledge.
I always equated knowledge with value.
Now I know that not knowing is the greatest value there is.
That is, after all, the moment that they say Buddha became Enlightened. He gave up trying to know or force it. One can only wonder, what filled him in that moment after giving up???
What filled me was the reality that I can receive, truly, the notion that God has a plan for us. I do not just take that statement at face value anymore; I accept it and I allow Christ to fill me with what He needs me to be when 'thy Kingdom come, thy will be done.'
All I can be right now is what He needs me to be. There's this great line in a Half-Alive song that resonates with me that says, "Trying to be somebody but all I got was someone else." We are so influenced by one another but God is our greatest mirror to who we really are.
I'm learning that God deliberately separates us from "knowing it all" not so that we don't care to know but for us to care to know about one another more and more about ourselves.
Shauna Niequist explains this so well in her book Present Over Perfect. She says that "part of being an adult person of faith is finding the rest of your pie."
In other words, you won't find the rest of your pie if you never look to the other side. Get out of your church, your monastery, your temple, your ritual and look to one another.
This is what I'm experiencing right now. It's not like I didn't gain anything from NA practices but God sent me to be filled with the rest of my pie and that meant being open enough to realizing I wasn't as quite whole or full from NA alone as I thought I was. I was hungry for something that I didn't know until I knew.
It's beautiful to me that God gives us permission to not know and yet, still live on this stunningly gorgeous Earth he created for us.
I used to be so scared, terrified, of that "spiritual amnesia." But now I know that "waking up" isn't dropping a veil to know it all or to take the truth to have but rather it is dropping a veil to accept how much we do not know and realizing that the burden of the truth is not on us alone.
This is all to say that as it stands, I have no idea what will bring the pie together. It feels like we are living in and through trial and error which I believe is a testimony to the fact that science and spirituality could actually make greater companions than extreme rivals but I digress...
I'll end with one of my favorites that always brings me peace when witnessing separation.
"By wisdom the Lord laid the earth's foundations,
By understanding he set the heavens in place;
By his knowledge the watery depths were divided,
And the clouds let drop the dew."
Proverbs 3:19-20
In other words, He knew and knows what He is doing for it was in His best knowledge. Everything that seems meaningless must have meaning then.
Much love for reading.
This tattoo on my back symbolizes a reminder to come back to wholeness; to God's HOLYness. God will always send me one crane sightings [rare,by the way because they travel as mates] when I'm only seeing a concept from one extreme. Whenever I see two, it is God's confirmation that I am now recognizing how bonded the two concepts really are. 🙏