Change your life, not just your clothes. Come back to God, your God. And here's why: God is kind and merciful. He takes a deep breath, puts up with a lot, this most patient God, extravagant in love." Joel 2:13
Negative entities, known as demons in Biblical literature, feed off of those who have experienced trauma. It makes sense, right? Have you ever heard of trauma bonding?
We have become more and more informed over the years on the wisdom of trauma-- and yet, there's still so much to learn. Was trauma apparent in the Old Testament?
For those who are reading this blog for the first time, let me give you a brief background on my spiritual journey : I just read the Bible for the first time & have been deconstructing my faith from one where there were many Gods & goddesses to one where there is just one. I don't follow any religion & I don't believe in it either. I believe in relationship.
When I read the Old Testament for the first time, I went in with an open mind. I knew that this was the part in the Bible that people warned me about. "That's the wrathful God!"
But because I already knew God from dreams & supernatural experiences with Him, I was excited to read about His evolution. How has God transformed for our benefit?
Right away, I saw God react from anger and panic. I believe he felt the trauma from the negative energy & could see that it was affecting his creation: people were turning on Him & each other. When God put Noah and his family on the ark but wiped out all other humanity & saw the devestation, he said, "I will never do that again." [Genesis]
To me, this shows that God feels it all before we do and that trauma has always been initiated by demonic entities, not by people disobeying God. God felt remorse and guilt after he wiped out humanity. Why?
Maybe because people are innocent but are deceived by this fallen world. Maybe that is why God sent his son who knew how to deal with negative entities and trauma inflicted & bonded humans.
Before I was called to read the Bible, I had a Biblical dream. I was on the boat with Noah. God told Noah, "Shut the door!" as a notion to not let any negative spirits in.
Noah was concerned because he heard people crying out for help but I told him in my dream "God said shut the door!" The dream ended with my realizing there was a "back door" that Noah forgot to shut and then I woke up because a door in my house randomly shut!
I can't explain this in any other way than to say that there is more than one door. There are many doors and God is shutting them all. But first, He has to reveal them.
I once spoke to someone who had a near death experience and he said, "Earth & heaven are like analogies. Whatever happens here affects there and vice versa."
I truly believe this. I think we often believe that the other side is perfect but it is far from it: it's a spiritual warfare unless you have the armor of God.
It's come to my understanding that when we have experienced trauma early in our life without a foundation of understanding it through the lens of faith, we are far more vulnerable to negative entities attaching to us. Again, just my interpretation as of recent.
When negative entities attach, they lead the show. They send us to interact with demonic activities that seem harmless but are actually a part of their plan. They oppress us with illness once we catch on to their tactics in order to keep us in pain. All of their business is done undercover & right under your nose.
I have to remember, like Christ, that it's not the person--it's the energy that is taking them over. Christ was moved to compassion & tears for those demonically consumed. A demon will make the person act on the defense but Christ will make a person slam a door shut in the face of bonding with them.
He did it for me. I was in the middle of an energy work session & I heard, "You're working for a dark energy disguised as light, stop now & let me take over."
I think about my partner's experience a lot. I'm not speaking for him; these are not his words but just my observation. He experienced hardships in his childhood but through skateboarding, he found Christianity & although he no longer supports religious institutions, I see a major difference between how he handles his trauma & how I handle mine.
Given there are more factors, and again, these are my words, not his, but I believe he has the armor of God supporting him. He doesn't have a woe-is-me attitude when facing adversity.
Me, on the other hand, I've always been a woe-is-me girl. I've realized the more woe I am, the more susceptible to negative entities I am. The more I sulk in my trauma, the more sleep paralysis episodes & depressive moments I have.
I want to be clear that I'm not saying, "Just ignore your trauma and be optimistic!"
No, no, no. Negative entities looooove when you're faking it. They are the masters of "a little truth and a little lie" chemistry.
What I AM saying is that building an awareness of the fact that we live in a fallen world is important.
I think I was most vulnerable to negative entities that kept me on the trauma hamster wheel because they made me believe that "God did this to me." I was angry with God so I wanted to rebel against Him when all that God did was create me & trust that his son would find me across the divide.
I used to believe in some philosophies that support the idea that we choose our suffering before we incarnate.
For example, there's a philosophy that I chose to experience rape in this lifetime. As if God "approved this."
I'm honestly still deconstructing that belief so I can't speak on it much but all that I know for sure is that God would never want me to stay in this pain. I do believe I will never be healed completely but at least I know that I don't have to sulk in a puddle of it or feel as if it's all on me.
To conclude, I thought I was transforming my trauma just by changing my "clothes." Or in other words,negative entities are charming & they deceive you by outward appearances.
They flash any shiny healing tool in your eyes, captivate you, make you feel powerful & then very subtly, they turn it against you. I'm not downplaying healing tools but what I am trying to say is "be aware." Who and what is really using you?
For my personal story, I was too attached to the materials of healing & I had to give it all up in order to see the qualities of healing that last eternally; the inner beauty.
For now, I'm placing less emphasis on healing my trauma through tools and more emphasis on building a relationship with Jesus.