Questioning Spiritual Bondage & Freedom

I've been hearing this word a lot lately: bondage.

I've been hearing it so much that I figured it only made sense to be in bed at 3am, wide awake & try to process it.

Disclaimer: This post's genre is more or less like a diary entry--a space to dump my thoughts. It is in no way a factual piece of writing, nor is it my end-all-be-all conclusion but rather a reflection I'd like to share.

It began when I saw someone who had transitioned from New Age to Jesus make a social media post about spiritual bondage. These two parts of the post stuck out to me the most. (I'm going to keep the writer of the post anonymous not because I do not want to credit them but for other reasons).

Part 1:

I'm going to begin with my reflection on this first post. God has been asking me to get rid of my spiritual materialistic ways since 2019--yes, that long ago! And quite the process it has been!

It started when a plant that's scientific name is literally the same as "narcissistic" fell on my crown chakra crystal singing bowl and broke it. Ironically, I felt like my crown chakra was also shattering.

Nevertheless, I started to realize that my life decisions had been held captive by tarot cards and whether or not my chakras were "cleansed enough."

I wanted to know everything there was to know about healing so I bought all the "things" I needed to heal myself and others.

I wanted to be like the cool kids and sit behind my crystal singing bowls and loosely explain how a chord "represented" the zodiac sign of Libra and would bring more balance into your life.

This is just a snippet of what it was like for me but with that being said, it hopefully gives some context to how I could absolutely relate to this first post.

However, here is the part in that post that I question or rather, dig deeper into...

Can we simply just say that freedom is Jesus Christ?

Or does that statement need much more context to it?

In general, I've always wondered if the word spiritual freedom is used too loosely in our culture.

I say it, and like sand, it falls through my fingers because I cannot really grasp a concept that big. So who am I to determine what is or isn't spiritual freedom?

I find that I can understand human freedoms better--such as freedom of speech and the issues of oppression...those solutions seem simple, though we haven't mastered them yet.

And still, I think about the complexity of spiritual freedom constantly.

Here me out. When I started to realize that I was depending on tarot cards, numerology, and ascension symptoms to live my life in the New Age, I took a hard left and decided to study the Bible and Christianity instead.

After awhile of reading and studying, the thought crossed my mind, "But isn't there also spiritual bondage when you're using the Bible as your proof of thought/feeling/decision?"

To me, these two statements sounds similar:

1. I'm not sure where this pain and suffering is coming from so I'm going to consult my cards.

2. I'm not sure where this pain and suffering is coming from so I'm going to consult the Bible.

In my reflection, I found that my answer to my own question was yes and no. It really has to do with your intention in both cases.

Are you using them as some magical formula for life or are you using them for comfort and reflection?

I find myself right back in spiritual bondage when I'm saying things like, "But my Bible says!" I can't help but hear the Laura who just wanted to be a cool kid saying, "But my tarot card says!"

I feel I'm being called to discern when I'm actually "in it" for Jesus or when I'm "in it" for the trend of Jesus. Do I really know or am I just trying to fit into a knowing that everyone else thinks is 'the knowing?'

By the way, I question this because I know my own weaknesses. I know my weakness is people-pleasing and doing whatever I can to fit in.

In one woman's testimony of her New Age to Jesus transition, she spoke on this topic and said, "It's not trendy, it's just that God's light is reaching more people."

I had to pause because while the ring of it sounded like heaven's bell, I thought 'Haven't I heard that before somewhere else???'

"Crystals aren't trendy, it's just that their power is reaching more people now."

I guess you can say that I'm finding myself constantly back in the middle, as I've stated in prior posts.

When I was a kindergarten teacher, I found that one of my strengths was being a mediator between two opposing five year olds--eventually they came to the conclusion that they were both for and against the same thing--just in a different way & that they could move on peacefully--until the next debacle that is!

Let's go on to the second post within that spiritual bondage post because I think this one is important.

I believe that this is very true and very important to hear. However, I think it is also safe to say that it doesn't all magically disappear when you just "focus on Jesus Christ."

I think the hard truth, at least for myself, is that nothing can make the pain and suffering of life disappear. Nothing--not even God and certainly not a singing bowl or a crystal.

I'll end my "3am diary of thoughts" with this...

I would rather question and not know, up until the end, then risk living by a knowing that I know could potentially harm myself or others.

I used to be the one that people would go to for answers on these "higher concepts."

But now, I'd rather just hold hands together and tell you, "I don't know but let's do the best that we can with what we have and see when we get there."